Tag Archives: Vancouver

Bristle at Prejudices

More often than not, prejudice takes in several aspects at both individual and group levels, making it rather difficult to determine what causes it. Are we prejudiced? Yes, naturally. Most of us wouldn’t be very enthusiastic to reveal some of our disheartening prejudices, let aside analyze the reasons behind their inception. And sometimes we don’t even know we have them. Generally speaking, we’re getting prejudiced through past experiences and these opinions are molding as we grow, being influenced by our learning, everyday happenings, and our incessant efforts to fit in, to meet the demands of the societal group we belong to.

Discover Yourself

One of the first American psychologists to focus on the study of human personality, Gordon Allport, often referred to the fact that from the beginning of time, all societies have experienced, to a certain degree, some form of prejudice (The Nature of Prejudice, 1954). It’s been always there. According to Allport, prejudice actually emerges as a result of normal human thinking. It looks like when we, as small children, start to make sense of the world around us, we begin to sort information into mental categories, which start serving as a foundation for normal prejudgment. Allport affirms that it is practically impossible to avoid this process.

However, we can improve our ability to avoid negative prejudgment in a variety of ways. As these thoughts were too big for my head, I tried to break them down into very small pieces and that’s how the word “prejudice” came to be part of my personal branding message. Later, this formed the name of this site: bristle at prejudices. Many questions similar to “how can we bristle at prejudices?” have started to come to mind. And even more possible answers. Perhaps, I thought, we can try harder at turning “differences” into a more organic part of our life, so when our brain is only starting to form the above mentioned categories, we are better equipped to see a variety of colors instead of just black and white; maybe we learn to see that something that’s “different” is not necessarily “bad”. Small groups and societies around the world have made extensive efforts to prioritize learning that moves away from the old fashioned ways and embraces a state of acceptance. Despite all the efforts, I’m sure we can all remember that faded smirk on the face of someone we were talking to at some point; it happens when there is too much bias around the topic at hand or even around the person. In a book I totally love, Jane Eyre, I came across an affirmation that triggered this whole idea of starting a “Bristle at Prejudices” online conversation. And it’s true, almost everything circles around our prejudices. They shape us. Yet, of course, while enjoying this unique crescendo we call life, unfolding under our eyes just like a pianist’s hands dazzled by Chopin’s Nocturne, it should be us shaping whom we want to be.

Going back to Jane Eyre, this is what Charlotte Brontë wrote (back in 1840s): “Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.” When I first read this book in my early twenties I didn’t stop along these lines, didn’t feel their heaviness. But years later, when I took Brontë’s book in my hands again, I suddenly paused: hmm, prejudices, I thought. And I went searching for a dictionary definition. I’ve learned that prejudice is an opinion we form about something or someone without having any evidence, an unreasonable bias. If we’d look into more definitions, we’d find more common features of prejudice, such as negative feelings, stereotyped beliefs, a tendency to discriminate against others. People are naturally driven by pride and vanity and it seems so ordinary to us to have an opinion and then turn it into a prejudice, which somehow ends up growing roots within us.

Being an incurable optimist, I do believe that knowledge, self-learning, and our willpower, can drive us away from negative prejudices. With that, I’m calling on you, my reader: bristle at prejudices! We all get hurt in one way or the other, we fall, we get up, it’s how we grow. But we can learn to avoid letting those feelings drain us and move our energy in all the wrong directions. We can choose to stop and consider them carefully, we can choose to envision ourselves as someone with a purpose, as someone with a map to follow, as someone whose energy is focused towards shaping a life story worth sharing.

Newfoundland and Labrador: Back Seat Memories (I)

This past summer, we decided it’s worth spending our vacation at home, in Canada. Looking at the map, there were not too many provinces we haven’t been to so far and, by elimination, Newfoundland and Labrador was really the only one left on the map. Followed by the Territories. Looking at the very few roads (mostly unpaved) Labrador has, I thought… oh my! But it was adventure time. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) I didn’t realize until it was too late how wild some parts of Newfoundland (and especially Labrador) really are. As someone said before, on a trip you may get wet, cold, hungry, tired or even lost, but then you’re back home safe and you call it “adventure”.

And truth be told, I came back from this trip incredibly refreshed and fully energized. Memories of places, people, and stories are vivid and they overtake in both size and power any idea of a “fun all-inclusive” vacation type. These life experiences are slowly shaping us, as they travel with us towards reaching our own goals. What did we bring back this time? People. Nature. Life. A completely different look at what Canada – as a whole – really is. Shores like nowhere else. Sea food. Vikings village & trails. Boats. Lighthouses and their keepers. IMG_7921-smWhat I didn’t see that much of around was immigrants. Funny enough, I didn’t even notice this until after being in the province for over a week. Then I remembered how Newfoundland and Labrador have this Provincial Nominee Program (NLPNP) that works quite hard towards providing an alternate and quicker entry into Canada, allowing the Province to nominate applicants, a much quicker process for qualified skilled workers, international graduates, and their families who wish to permanently settle here. Yet we weren’t able to see many around.

Time for a little story. Just south of L’Anse aux Meadows, when we stopped to fill-up on gas, I went inside the convenience store to warm up and add an extra layer (it was 8 degrees Celsius on a beautiful August day at noon). Here, I’ve started a conversation with the store keeper, a lady in her late 50s, and her friend, who was keeping her company over a cup of coffee. Yes, they do have a funny accent and I had to pay close attention to make sure I understand, but when they asked me what I do for work and  I said I’m an employment counsellor, the store keeper was quite confused. Trying to help, I went on to tell her that I work in a program called “Skills Connect for Immigrants”. But this confused her even more: “immigrants”? – she asked. Too bad I couldn’t take a picture, her face looked priceless. Now, her girlfriend, who was more traveled (she actually visited Vancouver, as she proudly told me latter), joined us and said: “you know, they have lots of immigrants in the Vancouver area, and there are big communities with people from all over the world, thousands of them!” Poor store keeper was still looking at me in great disbelief. Then she confessed that she never in her life left the island (Newfoundland).

After this “convenience store conversation” I’ve started to look around more carefully and realized that not only there were not too many immigrants in the area, but also not too many young people, not too many children, and most likely not enough schools. The unemployment rate in the province (I learned later) is the highest in Canada. And so is the lack of literacy. Newfoundland and Labrador are now at a critical crossroad for addressing and advancing literacy skills, yet they need federal help; there are many provincial councils supporting this effort to help all people reach their full literacy potential. Yes, it’s different when you only read about it, but the news certainly make a bigger impact on us when we get to see it.

PicturesinNLPeople in Newfoundland are so friendly. Not one single sign of the Vancouverite-specific sophistication. I’ve heard many times about the old fashioned hospitality in this province, but it’s actually much better then I imagined. At a Bed & Breakfast we stayed in the Red Bay area (http://www.grenfellbandb.ca), our hosts knew we were coming on a motorcycle from Happy Valley-Goose Bay, and they knew it has been raining the whole day, with miserable cold winds, and they also knew we were getting across over 560 KM of unpaved roads (as part of our Trans-Labrador Hwy Adventure). Well, as a welcome, they’ve started a fire in this cast iron wood stove inside their beautiful backyard gazebo, white and tall, with large windows and glass doors. Here, we were invited to hang to dry our motorcycle rain suits, boots, and gloves – all on a long rope the host has fastened across the gazebo’s wooden ceiling. That’s what locals do when they return form a stormy fishing day at sea, we were told, it’s quite standard procedure. Then, to be able to walk back to the house through the mushy-wet emerald-green grass, we were provided with these huge rubber clogs. Their beautiful house, a historic building, served as a Nursing Station back in 1930s. As I stepped in, I suddenly forgot I was covered in wet mud just an hour ago. I forgot we had to use a hose at a gas station nearby to clean ourselves up before checking in. I forgot all of that. The world felt, all of a sudden, strangely light, like I was 12 again. A girl coming back into her grandma’s warm kitchen after running through a summer storm. A soaking-wet redhead, with lots of freckles, and shiny blue eyes (yes, just like Anne of Green Gables). They were waiting for us with hot tea and biscuits. Each room was decorated with thrilling quilted covers and ivory embroideries. Slightly squawking hardwood, warm floors, sparkling clean bedsheets, it all felt like heaven. I even found mini chocolates on the elegantly wrapped king bed. After a long warm bath, I slept like an angel. When I woke up in the morning I ran straight to the window. The ocean was beautiful, but really stormy. Wait, what? Raining and windy again? It was raining pretty bad, but so beautiful. I decided I was going to just ignore the weather. Downstairs, in an elegant dining room, at a long table seating twelve, decorated with beautiful china and a generously overflowing fruit platter, our hostess Peggy was making breakfast. The smell was mouthwatering. I poured myself some hot black coffee and enjoyed looking at the rain outside while chatting with our hostess. Out in the rain, my husband was upping pressure in the tires, to change firmness as appropriate for the paved road ahead. Our Honda CBF 1000 did very well so far. Such a reliable and nimble motorcycle. No more unpaved roads ahead (at least that’s what I thought at the time), so I said to myself: happy birthday girl, you’re on the other side of the world!

Grateful, dry, and full of hope, we loaded up our stuff after breakfast and headed off to the Blanc Sablon (QC) ferry to cross over to St. Barbe (NL). This was just a quick two-hour ride. Here is where we said “Good bye” to Labrador. A couple of peculiar facts about this ferry: even if Blanc Sablon is practically in Quebec, the ferry operates by Newfoundland Standard Time (NST), plus one must make a reservation no matter what, and the staff here is not exactly motorcycle friendly (those who are used to our BC Ferries know what I’m talking about). Anyhow, we made it to St. Barbe, it was still raining on the island, still windy, but we managed to brace up an had a nice and dry afternoon in L’Anse aux Meadows, where we checked in at Viking Village Bed and Breakfast. A rather elegant dinner of authentic Newfoundland sea food followed to celebrate by birthday.

DailyCatchNLIf you’d like to read about more Newfoundland adventures, follow a 16-hour long ferry crossing to Nova Scotia and a beautiful East-coast style ride to Boston in the second part of this travel story.

Workplace Culture & Team Dynamics

Canadian employers emphasize in almost every job description their preference towards someone who is a ‘team player.’ As a result, these words were overused in job applications and ended up being listed as buzzwords in 2013. What can we do to avoid overusing certain buzzwords in our resumes or cover letters? The most common advise is to describe our abilities and skills through storytelling and accomplishment statements. Stories paint us in a unique way, they provide our reader with a cultural context and highlight whom we are both as professionals and as people.

At work, most teams are made of diverse people and these teams thrive through exposing new ideas, different views on facts, and through using good communication. Because good communicators know that differences can be explained and turned into new experiences. We are all born with this extraordinary ability to learn any culture and adapt to almost anything. We just need to stay open, observe our surroundings, and learn. As Henry Ford mentioned, “coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success”. For a team to be successful, its members would have to be able (and willing) to give and receive feedback in a comfortable environment, where they can communicate honestly and openly. Once in a new workplace, we should be open to learning, to understanding the dynamics of this new team. We should consider it an adventure of some kind, add to what we already know, build new experiences on previous ones, and we’ll get to a beautiful completion of the puzzle. A successful team player is focused on the next steps, on what was omitted, on what needs to be done to cover the gaps. By contrast, a nostalgic team member will normally focus on the past, which will hinder those much needed actions. An approach not always popular (as it’s not very inclusive) has divided teams into high performing and low performing (see Mark Murphy’s book Hiring for Attitude). 1231

Many have questioned if everything in building good teams comes down to leadership style? And many have agreed it does. An effective leadership will build collaboration and self-confidence through empowering its team members and through providing a healthy work environment. This may require professional development, team building activities, and communication training. Team building is normally regarded as a way of “growing together”, as a way of developing feelings of belonging.
How can someone new to a place learn more about its culture? Volunteer. Participate in various events. Conduct Informational Interviews. Make friends outside your family, circle, or community. Bristle at prejudices. People say it all the time, “it’s a Catch 22”: job seekers have a hard time to get that first job because of the lack of local work experience, which they can’t get because no employer gives them a chance. Yet everyone gets that first job, eventually. Some sooner, some latter. Some will move up fast, some will do it slowly, and some will just linger in there. It depends on how each individual career development strategy is built. If you don’t have one, it’s time to consider it. Your success comes down to preparation, commitment, and consistency. “Are you really ready?” Think about a combination of Canadian workplace culture knowledge + strong presentation skills + self-confidence + unpretentiousness. It is great if you bring strong technical skills + knowledge + intelligence, but this formula alone will not secure you what you want.  In a job interview, 5 people have the exact same technical skills, and only one gets the job. The interview will primarily assess soft skills and your ability to fit with the existing team (a team you don’t know anything about). Go to the interview and prove the employer that you have done your part. Don’t sell them apples when they expect to buy oranges.

Arriving to Vancouver

Flying to Canada for the first time, to Vancouver more precisely, was a different experience for each of us (and I mean a small family of three: myself, my husband, and our son). It happened over 10 years ago. To our son, whose age was still counted in months at the time, this sure was just one of those trips mom drags him on. Being used to be on the go from day one, he didn’t really get all the fuss and so this time around was no different. To me, honestly, there was lots of trying to enjoy it, as much as a young mother could. I’ve been only minimally involved in the planning of the trip and there were simply too many things I didn’t know. Plus, I didn’t really speak English at the time. That loaded statement “you’re changing your life forever” flew by my ears and I don’t recall it. But there was this very sad picture of our parents saying good-bye at the airport in Timisoara, Romania. At the time I didn’t realize how sad their faces were. Even though we were moving to Vancouver from Munich (Germany) we decided to take three weeks off and we went to spend some time with our parents before flying away.

So let’s go back to arriving here. Well, to my husband, this whole trip was a whole different story. As he was watching over the Rockies from his window seat (and it was a beautiful sunny day) I noticed how he was barely breathing. I remember feeling somehow annoyed. He was living a dream, I was too preoccupied with our little son to even get a sense of how big this step was for us. First day of May. I didn’t understand much at the time, even though I thought I did. The plan was to move to Canada, so we were moving. All the invisible wheels turning behind this gigantic mechanism were not my troubles I thought. And that’s how my life has changed. Forever.

A friend was very kind and picked us up at YVR. I remember how different my first impression was. Things seemed small. With heavy eyes I was watching out of the van’s windows at what I thought was really ugly architecture. Of course, I didn’t know it’s impossible to see anything pretty on your way from the airport. Then we arrived at their condo in North Vancouver and I fell in love with the Lion’s Gate bridge view from their balcony. I remember sitting there with a glass of wine starring at it the whole evening. We were so lucky to have such gracious hosts!

Two days later, back on the go, we moved our luggage into a rented car and embarked on a two weeks’ road-trip around British Columbia – our very first Canadian journey. The plan was to stop for the first night at a hidden in the forest cottage on Sheridan Lake, then stay a couple of days in Prince George (as I had to visit UNBC), drive on Yellowhead towards Jasper and the national park with the same name, stop for three days in Edmonton, then Calgary, then stop in Banff for a couple of days. We drove north on the Ice Fields Parkway towards Mt. Athabasca, did some hiking, and came back to Lake Louise (which I fell in love with, forever). On our way back to Vancouver we stopped at Yoho National Park, then spend a night in Revelstoke, and Kelowna was our last stop before returning to North Vancouver. I still remember pretty well many of the amazing Bed & Breakfast locations we stayed at throughout this trip. They have added that local flavor to the evening tea or to our breakfast time, allowing us to engage with our hosts and to learn about the local culture. I recall wondering at the time what was so particular about the Canadian culture. Why do people have so much fun saying ‘eh?’ at the end of pretty much every question? But it’s true, this trip helped us see how huge, how beautiful, and also how delicate British Columbia, our new home, is. Even though I didn’t provide much insight here about our each stay, especially in Prince George, I hope to come back here someday and write more about our first road-trip in Canada.